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15 CENTS. 


DICK & FITZGERALD, Publishers, 
NEW YORK. 






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Copyright N°__ 


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3 ^ •ST' - 

THE SCRUBTOWN SEWING 
CIRCLE'S THANKSGIVING 


v t 9 


&n OlD HatnaF Variable 


BY 

MAUDE L. HALL 


Copyright, 1910, by Dick & Fitzgerald 




NEW YORK 

DICK & FITZGERALD 
?8 ANN STREET 





THE SCRUBTOWN SEWING CIRCLE’S 
THANKSGIVING. 

* 

CHARACTERS. 


Mrs. Tattle. A widow. President of the Society 

Mary Ann Green. An old maid. Secretary 

Granny Noddle... A deaf otd Lady 

Betsey Noddle. Granny's Granddaughter 

Mrs. Gossip. The hostess 

Percilla Primp. A new member 


Locality. —The Village of Scrubtown, N. H. 

Time of Representation —About thirty-five minutes. 

Note :—Additional time may be filled out by the introduction of 
songs and recitations suitable for the performers. 


COSTUMES. 

Granny. Old, deaf and feeble. Dark calico dress, white 
handkerchief pinned around her shoulders. Close-fitting lace 
cap with ends. Hair gray. Spectacles. Black mittens. 
Cane. Knitting. 

Betsey. Old-fashioned dark -calico gown. 'Wliite mittens. 

Mrs. Tattle. Black gown .and mittens. 

Mary Ann. Any old style. Hair in a knot at top of 
head, corkscrew on each side. 

Mrs. Gossip. Any old-fashioned house dress. 

Percilla. Gaudy-colored calico gown. Large common 
finger rings, chain, locket, etc. 

TMP96-006553 


OLD 17968 









THE SCRUBTOWN SEWING CIRCLE’S 
THANKSGIVING. 


SCENE .—A quiet country parlor. Mrs. Tattle, the presi¬ 
dent, seated at left of stage. Mary Ann, the secretary, 
seated at small table in front of the president. The 
four others on chairs diagonally at right of stage, Betsey 
in front, Granny next. All have sewing or knitting in 
their hands except the president , and are talking 
energetically. 

Mrs. Tattle (rising). This here society will now please 
come to order. 

(The hubbub slackens, but two or three persist in disputing.) 

Mrs. T. (stamping with foot). Order! ORDER! (All 
silent) The first thing on the program will be the readin’ 
of the minutes of last meetin’. The secretary will please read 
the minutes. 

Mary Ann Green (rises, blows her nose loudly, clears her 
throat, then reads). Minutes of Scrubtown Sewin’ Circle, 
Nov. 22nd, 1900. Meetin’ held at Mrs. Tattle’s home; called 
to order by the president. Minutes of last meetin’ read and 
improved. 

Granny. Moved! Who’s moved? 

Betsey (in a loud whisper). Hush! Granny, she said im¬ 
proved. 

Granny. Oh! she did, eh? 

Miss Green (glares at Granny, then goes on). It was 
moved by Miss Percilla Primp, that seein’ as how the new 
minister had just lost his wife, that we make him a donation 
party, to help him in the care of his poor, little, orphant chil¬ 
dren, and that the secretary be appointed to take note of the 
proceedings and report at next meetin’. The motion was 
seconded by Mrs. Gossip, and was adopted by the society. 

3 



4 The Scrubtown Sewing Circle’s Thanksgiving. 

Granny. Yes, we should have more piety in our meetin’s. 
Now, when I was young and belonged to the Pumpkin Ridge 
Sewin’ Circle, we was awful pious. We- 

Betsey. Hush! Granny! 

Granny (holding hand to ear). Hey! Te’ll have ter talk 
a leetle louder. My hearin’ ain’t nigh so good as it was fifty 
years ago. 

Betsey. She said society. Not piety. 

Granny. Oh! she did, eh? - 

Miss Green (frowning). It was further decided by this 
honorable society, that as the next meetm’ would fall on 
Thanksgivin’ Day, that we each tell what we have ter be 
thankful for; as it would he^p us ter have a better spirit of 
gratitude toward our Maker and each other. After our usual 
sewin’ was finished, and we had eat, we decided, that as there 
was no further business to come before the society, we would 
adjourn until Thanksgivin’, to meet at Mrs. Gossip’s house. 
(Sits) 

Mrs. Tattle. If no one has no fault to find with these 
here minutes they will stand as read. (Waits a moment) 
Well as we all seem to think they are correct, they will stand 
improved. The first business this evening will be to hear 
our secretary’s report of the Donation party. 

Miss Green (rises and reads from paper). Havin’ been 
appointed to report the proceedings at the Donation party, I 
beg to submit that we all met at the time appointed at the 
Minister’s house, an’ seein’ his recent bereavement, we offered 
him our condolements, and assured him that anyone of us 
would be rejoiced to be a mother to his little ones. The dona¬ 
tions were various. Granny Noddle had got the idea that it 
was to be a weddin’, an’ she brought an old slipper and a bag 
of rice. Betsey brought a quart tin of lard. Mrs. Gossip, a 
pillowsham. Persilla had persuaded Mr. Fitzpatrick to hand 
the minister two dollars, for her weddin’ fee in advance. 
Mrs. Tattle brought three pairs of her dead and gone hus¬ 
band’s stockings, of her own knitting, and a hank of yarn to 
darn the holes in ’em. 

Mrs. Tattle. I’m sure the Minister must have been thank¬ 
ful. But Mary Ann, you have forgotten to name your gift. 

Percilla. Not much! Nary forget! She laid on the 
table a paper of hair-pins, ha! ha! 

Mary Ann. It’s not to laugh. They will come in handy 
for his next. 

Percilla. Wouldn’t you like the chance to claim ’em? 
Mary Ann. You old cat! 



The Scrubtown Sewing Circle’s Thanksgiving. g 

Mrs. Tattle. Girls! Girls! For shame! 

Granny ( explosively ). What’s that? What did you say, 
Mary Ann ? 

Mary Ann. Oh! Nothing particular. 

Granny. Tickle her? Tickle who? 

Betsey. She said, nothing 'particular. 

Granny. Oh! She did, eh? 

Mrs. Tattle. The next thing in order will be to hear the 
testimonies of thanks. Mrs. Gossip, as ye are the hostess, 
we will hear from you first. 

Mrs. Gossip ( talking through her nose and in a drawling 
tone). Wal, Miss President, I ain’t got much to be thank¬ 
ful fur; but I’m awful thankful fur what I have got. Wal, 
first, I’m thankful that I’m alive, and that John Henry is 
alive, and all of our children, includin’ Martha Ellen, and 
Andrew Jackson, and Daniel Webster, and Samantha Ann, 
and Thomas Jefferson, and George Washington, and the baby, 
we ain’t named her yit, is all alive, ( dropping her voice) for 
funerals do cost a lot. 

Granny. Half past five! ( Rising feebly) Come, Betsey, 
we must be arter gittin’ fur hum. I tell ye when it begins 
tor git cool in the evenin’s, I want ter be at hum by the fire; 
fur it jist ’pears like every bit of cold there is, jist gits inter 
my old jints. I tell ye rheumatiz is an awful bad thing. 
(Turns to Miss Primp) Do yer ever have rheumatiz, Miss? 
(Sits) 

Miss Primp (snappishly). No! you don’t need to think 
I’m that old. 

Betsey. Granny, what’s the matter with you. She didn’t 
say five, she said alive. 

Granny. Oh! She did, eh? 

Mrs. Tattle. Miss Betsey, we’ll hear from you next. 

Betsey. Well, as Mrs. Gossip says, “ I’m thankful that 
I’m alive.” I’m thankful, too, that turkeys air so cheap; so 
Granny and me can have one fur our Thanksgivin’ dinner. 
I tell you I’ve done lots of contrivin’ fur to earn enough ter 
buy that air gobbler. I jist made up my mind last year, 
when nobody invited us out to dinner, that Granny and me 
would have the biggest turkey I could find fur this year; and 
that we would eat it all ourselves. But then I have con¬ 
cluded, that I would invite the new Minister over; fur he 
hain’t got no lovin’ companion ter look after him now, an’ 
cook his dinner fur him. Well, I was goin’ ter tell you how 
I got that air turkey. I made a lot of yeast and sold that 
at five cents a quart. Then I saved all the eggs our old 


6 The Scrubtown Sewing Circle’s Thanksgiving. 


speckled hen laid fur two months and sold them fur cash, 
and then I knitted five pairs of mittens fur Deacon Jones’ 
children, and that jist made enough. And I jist put it in our 
old chiny sugar bowl on the top shelf in the cupboard, an’ 
waited until yisterday, when I went down to the market and 
bought that air fowel; and I’ve got it on cookin’ now, so it 
would be sure an’ be done fur five o’clock; fur that is when 
I told the Minister to be there. So I’m thankful fur the 
last, that the good Lord gave me plenty of brains to scheme 
with. 

Granny. Yes that’s so, Betsey has got jist lots of brains. 

Mrs. Tattle. Miss Percilla Primp, as ye have jist lately 
joined our society, we’ll hear your Thanksgivin’ experience 
next. 

Miss Primp. I say like Mrs. Gossip, “ I’m thankful that 
I’m alive.” I am also thankful the good Lord does not in¬ 
tend me to be an old maid. 

Miss Green ( aside). Imperdent wretch! 

Miss Primp. For last night Mr. Leander Fitzpatrick asked 
me to share his joys and his sorrows, his poverty and his 
wealth; and I told him “ yes.” I think any girl ought to be 
proud and thankful when she is rescued by an adorable man 
from the terrors which await the life of an old maid, and 
makes her the queen of his heart and home. 

(Note. —Just here the song “No one to Love, None to 
Caress,” would he appropriate.) 

And when I think of all this, I say, many, many thanks 
for savin’ me from bein’ an old maid, oh, Lord! 

Granny. Lard! did ye say ? That makes me think, 
Betsey, we’ve got another gallon of lard to sell. It is good, 
clean, pure lard, too; fur we rendered it ourselves from that 
little Jersey pig we had killed t’other day. (To Miss Primp) 
Did yer want to buy some lard, Miss ? Maybe Leander would 
like some. 

Miss Primp. No, I don’t! 

Miss Green. You’re in luck, Percilla, better late than 
never. 

Miss Primp {aside). Old cat! 

Mrs. Tattle. Well, Granny, ye ain’t told your story yit. 
We will now be glad to hear from you. 

Granny {in a cracked trembling voice). It seems ter be 
the fashion ter say, “ I’m glad that I’m alive,” so I’ll say it, 
tew. Wal, like Mrs. Gossip, “ I’m glad, that I’m alive.” Al¬ 
though I’m approachin’ my eighty-second year, I yit am 


The Serubtown Sewing Circle’s Thanksgiving. 7 

almost as spry as a cricket, and I’m thankful fur it, tew. 
( Bises, hands her cane to Betsey, spreads her skirt with both 
hands, makes a tottering courtesy and a few funny attempts 
at dance steps. All applaud) 

Betsey (rises, takes hold of Granny). Granny! (8eats 
her) 

Granny. But whenever the good Lord calls me ter go, 
I’m ready and willin’; fur I’ve tried ter live a good life, so 
that, when I hear his gentle voice a callin’ me, an’ I leave 
this yarth to come back no more, and he takes me by the 
hand an’ leads me, oh, so gently, through the dark valley of 
death, an’ when I reach the pearly gates of that beautiful 
city, an’ can hear the angels singin’ oh, so sweetly, an’ all 
my dear, departed, loved ones a callin’ tew me from the 
shinin’ palace of the Lord; then I know my tremblin’ old 
voice will grow clear an’ sweet ag’in, an’ I can sweetly sing 
the praises of Him, who has carried my cross fur me these 
many years, an’ at last I will be at rest. 

Mrs. Tattle. Wal, Granny, you seem ter have a faith, 
that is nigh about wonderful to behold, an’ we all love 
you, dear old soul. Miss Mary Ann Green, we will now hear 
from you. 

Miss Green. Like Mrs. Gossip, I’m thankful that I’m 
alive. I wish, that I could have the faith that Granny has 
got; but it jist seems like I never will have, fur livin’ all 
alone by myself as I do, an’ bein’ pestered as I am by the 
horrid boys, I jist can’t cultivate an angelic spirit. But last 
night I got the best of my temper. When school was out an’ 
I was out a pilin’ up my pumpkins, them boys come by an’ 
begun to yell, “ pickles,” “ old maid fur sale,” an’ the like. 
An’ one actually made fun of my curls. He said, “ boys, 
look at the old gal’s curls. Regular cork-screws, ain’t they? ” 
Then they all giggled. Anybody with eyes can see, that my 
curls are real attractive an’ becomin’. (Tenderly pats her 
curls) 

Mary Ann (aside to Mrs. Tattle). I hope she’s pinned 
’em on tight. (Giggles) 

Miss Green. One of them varmints of boys, then throwed 
a stone at my cat an’ missed it an’ hit the cage that my par¬ 
rot was in, an’ upset it an’ nearly scared the poor bird into 
a spasam. I was jist gittin’ ready ter throw a pumpkin at 
’em, when somethin’ seemed ter whisper right in my ear, 
“ Hold yer temper, Mary Ann, hold yer temper.” An’ I jist 
said ter myself, “ I will.” So I did, an’ I’m thankful fur 
it, tew. 


8 The Scrubtown Sewing Circle’s Thanksgiving. 

Mrs. Tattle. That was quite a glorious victo'ry under the 
circumstances, Mary Ann. I have often wondered why you 
didn’t get married, you must have had chances. 

Miss Green. When I was young an’ started teachin’ school, 
I didn’t care to take any chances. I wanted a sure thing, 
and young men ain’t to be depended upon. There was James 
Binny, for instance; “I love you,” sez he, “ an’ I would go 
to the world’s end fur you.” “ You would not go to the end 
of the world for me, James,” sez I. “ The world,” sez I, 
“ is round like a ball. One of the first lessons in geography 
is devoted to the shape of the globe. You must have studied 
it when you were a boy.” “ Of course I did,” sez he, “ but—” 
“ It is no longer a theory,” sez I, “ it is an established fact.” 
“ I knew it,” sez he, “ but what I meant was that I would 
do anything to please you. Oh! Mary Ann,” sez he, “ if 
you knew the achin’ void—” “ Void, James,” sez I, “there 
is no such thing as a void. Nature abhors a vacuum,” sez 
I, “ but even admitting that there could be such a thing, 
how could the void you speak of be a void if there was an 
ache in it?” “Well,” sez he, “I’ve money in the savings 
bank,” sez he, “ and I want you to be my wife,—there! ” 
“ That might make a difference,” sez I, “ to some gals, but not 
to me. You can take your savings bank off, and yourself too, 
I’m not a bargain counter.” An’ he went. 

Mrs. Tattle. Good for you! Mary Ann, that was plucky. 
I guess ye are all through now, but me. I will now proceed 
ter give my experience. I say with Mrs. Gossip, I’m thank¬ 
ful that I’m alive; an’ bein’ a lone widder as I am, I’m 
thankful that the good Lord gave me good looks— 

Granny. Books! Do ye want tew borrow some books, 
Mrs. Tattle? We’ve got some extra fine ones at hum in our 
book-cupboard. One is a most mighty interestin’ one, tew. 
It tells all about a man, that got jealous of another man, jist 
because t’other man— 

Betsey. Hush, granny; she said looTcs. 

Granny. Oh! she did, eh? 

Mrs. Tattle. —and as long as I have ter wear black ter 
mourn Joshua, I’m glad that it is so becomin’. I am thank- 
fid, tew, that as long as Joshua had ter die, that he left me 
a little pile of money. It makes one’s chances so much better 
with the sterner sex. Fur I believe as young as I am, it 
would be goin’ agin the Lord’s will fur me ter stay single, 
when I can see it’s my bounden duty ter make home nice 
an’ comfortable fur some man. So whenever the Lord sees 
fit ter send me another husband, I will try and do my duty 


The Scrubtown Sewing Circle’s Thanksgiving. 9 

by him; no matter who it may be, an’ thank the Lord fur it. 
I guess that is all I can think on now; so if none of ye can 
think of any other business ter come before this here society, 
we will stand adjourned to meet in one week at the home of 
Granny Noddle. Ye may now stand adjourned. Let us sing 
our evening hymn. ( All rise.) 

Air—“ Long, Long Ago.” 

Don’t we remember the days we were young, 

Long, long ago— 

Long, long ago. 

The fun that we had and the songs that were sung, 
Long, long ago, 

Long, long ago. 

Now we are older, but should not complain. 

Wouldn’t we just love to live over again 
All of the youthful pleasure and pain 

Of Long, Long ago, Long ago. 

{All together ) We would!! 

(All face audience) 

Now to amuse you we’ve all done our best 
(Refrain sung hummed with mouths closed.) 

So we are soon going home to our rest. 

{Refrain as before.) 

We know we are guilty of shamming, we fear, 

We are not so old as we’ve tried to appear. 

But just to amuse you ’tis surely all right. 

And so we all wish you “ Goodnight.” 


CURTAIN. 


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JOSIAH’S COURTSHIP 

A FARCICAL COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS , BY HORACE C . DANE . 

PRICE 25 CENTS 

Six male, five feniale characters, eccentric old man, leading gentleman, 
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providential interruption. The “angel” offers some more good advice. The 
story of Josiah’s life. An old man’s darling. Priscilla scents a mouse. 
Out of the frying-pan into the fire. 

Act III.—Back at Priscilla’s. Another embarrassment for Josiah. 
Priscilla in war paint. Reconciliation. More t.ouble for Jeff. A spring 
chicken and an old hen. A bitter encounter. Defiance. Josiah makes a 
bargain. Confusion worse confounded. 

Act IV.—Scene as before. A vote of confidence. A few more pointed 
questions. Mike on a tear. Josiah’s ultimatum. A father’s confession and 
an unexpected guest. # The “ ’splosion.” Tom’s exculpation. The biter bit. 
Father and son. Priscilla relents. “Call in the preacher and let's all be 
happy!” The remnants of Mike. Finale. 


BREAKING HIS BONDS 

A COMEDY-DRAMA IN FOUR ACTS , BY HORACE C . DALE . 

PRICE 25 CENTS 

Six male, -three female characters, including leading man, genteel heavy, 
walking gentleman, walking comedy (dude), eccentric comedy, Irish comedy, 
leading emotional lady, comedy walking lady, and soubrette. Time of play¬ 
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opportunities for strong acting. 

SYNOPSIS OF INCIDENTS. 

Act I.—Lelar’s mansion. Master and man. Micky's alarm. The rival 
lovers. A friendly warning. Masked villainy. A puzzled physician. 
Resolve. “Ha, traitors! have I caught you?” “Howard! husband! are you 
crazy?” “Have you no answer to make, you guilty scoundrel!” “None 
in your present condition, sir.” “Then die!” Picture. 

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demanded. Determination. A love spat. Micky’s veracity is questioned. 
A crestfallen Irishman. Articles of partnership. A dazed wife. “And 
your name is what?” “Crazed!” Picture. 

Act III.—Deem’s. law office. A pliant tool. _ An unwelcome visitor. 
Revelations. A collision. Snooks in clover. An incensed Irishman. Hus¬ 
band and wife. Mental thraldom. Breaking his bonds. Picture. 

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have I found you at last!” Humiliation. Joy after sorrow. Picture. 




A WH I T E L I E 

COMEDY-DRAMA IN FOUR ACTS, BY HORACE C. DALE. 

PRICE 25 CENTS 

Four male, three female characters, including leading man, genteel heavy, 
low comedy, Negro comedy; old maid comedy, emotional leading lady, 
ingenue. Time of playing 2J2 hours. The action abounds with strong 
dramatic situations. Can be easily staged in any hall. 

SYNOPSIS OF INCIDENTS. 

Act I.—Drawing-room in the Bell mansion. Visitors. The man who 
kissed the Blarney stone. The wolf in the sheepfold. An anxious wife’s 
resolve. A game that two can play. An untimely interruption. “What 
is the meaning of this scene?” An extempore rehearsal. A white lie. 

Act II.—Scene as before. Araminta has her say, and Timothy takes 
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strings. Pauline’s history. The flying-wedge. “I know a thing or two 
about foot-ball.” A passage at arms between Spring and Autumn. Paul¬ 
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sin abounds!” Picture. 

_ Act III.—The Charity Ball. Taffy and his “fairy.” An exciting 
episode. Unmasked! An affair of honor. Another skirmish between the 
ladies. Timothy in a quandary. The missing letter and Pauline’s plan of 
rescue. Araminta caught “spoonin’,” and Taffy believes that the world has 
come to an end. 

Act IV.—The secret duel. Peyton’s treachery and suicide. Bell’s dis¬ 
covery and despair. A morning call, and a kodak sensation. The Peach 
Blossom’s revenge. Good news for Taffy. A risky experiment. Bereft of 
reason. Disenthralled. “Dat settles it; de war am ober, peace am ’dared, 
an’ we’s all happy.” Finale. _ 

Imogene; or, The Witch's Secret 

REALISTIC DRAMA IN FOUR ACTS, BY HORACE C. DALE. 

PRICE 15 CENTS 

Seven male, five female characters. Juvenile leading man, eccentric old 
man, walking gentleman, genteel villain, Irish comedy, two utility. Leading 
juvenile lady, heavy character, walking lady, juvenile comedy, soubrette. 
Well worked out plot and counter-plot, effective stage pictures, and brisk 
action. Time of playing, 2 hours. 

SYNOPSIS OF INCIDENTS. 

Act I. — Scene I. —A street. The Deacon’s arrival. A newsboy’s trick. 
Lawyer and Irishman. The Witch’s prophecy. A wife’s anxiety and re¬ 
solve. Scene II. —A garden. The fete. Snooks is euchered. A foe in the 
guise of a friend. The drugged wine. Suspicion aroused. A fruitless 
appeal. A wronged wife. The accusation. Denunciation. The assault. 

Act II.—Mansfield’s home. A jealous Irishman. The Deacon becomes 
infatuated. A lost sister. . An indirect proposal. The assault. Dennis bites 
the dust. An indignant wife. A self-confessed villain. A desperate woman. 
An aggrieved husband. Cowardice charged. Satisfaction demanded and 
refused. Cowhided. 

Act III.— Scene I. —Hall in Mansfield’s house. Dennis grows excited. 
A challenge. An agitated wife. Scene II. —The rendezvous. The duel. 
An unobserved witness. “Shoot, you coward!” “I cannot, it would be 
murder.” Treachery charged. “There stands the traitor!” The Witch’s 
note. Explanation demanded. The deadly air gun. A wounded villain. 
Who fired the shot? A doubting Thomas. The Witch’s exhortation. The 
resolve. Scene III. —A room in Mansfield’s house. A wife’s devotion. 

Act IV. — Scene I. —In Reed’s law-office. Dennis promises compliance. 
Dennis and Snooks have a “scrap.” Robbery charged. The raised notes. 
Murder is threatened. Dennis’s ruse. The lawyer is euchered. The 
Witch’s appearance. Startling revelations. The Witch’s power defied. 
The incantation. Imogene appears. Reed’s death. Scene II. —A street. 
The Deacon and his nephew. Apologies made and forgiveness obtained. 
Dennis’s elation. Susie’s ruse brings Dennis to terms. Scene III. —Mans* 
field’s home. The Witch’s secret is revealed. The Deacon is made happy- 





















LIBRARY of 













